I wanted to write a great post about the unfortunate mandate American society has imposed on us all with the whole Santa Claus thing, how it’s worse than religion in that even the schools are in on the lie — until I realized it was much more complex than that, a whole mess of ethics vs. social pressure and that my viewing it as an “unfortunate mandate” was a measure of my ethical mettle (and as measures go, one that fell far short of the standards I wish to keep (but apparently don’t)). My excuse, if I were to offer one, is that the Santa mythology is generally harmless, and wears off when a child reaches a certain age, so there is good reason not to break with social traditions simply to gain bragging rights to that kind of relentless honesty when it meant inflicting such conflicts on a child. Children have enough opportunities to feel ostracized by their peers without being the only one not in on the lie.And if I’d managed to make sense of all that, I’d have needed a conclusion, and I don’t have one.
But there wasn’t time.
Then I had this clever thought of making a top ten list of the top ten top ten lists of the decade, but … no time. And I only found four lists, and they’re bookmarked on two different computers because I’m deficient in the bookmark-organizing area of geekery. The shame. But even if I wasn’t deficient, still … time.
I should be working right now, right this minute – and if not, I should at least be actually blogging and not this. Time not a factor in this, just … tired, in a wide-awake kind of way, and then there’s the ennui. You could count the sick days I have taken in the past four years on one hand, and this year I took one vacation day to commemorate the two-year anniversary of the last time I took a vacation day (well, bereavement leave, same thing). I like to think of this as a work ethic, but it’s not that fucking noble, not when it leaves me all whiny like this. I therefore resolve to use some of my by now quite nice pile of vacation days this year. But that’s all I’ll resolve. I’d like to make some lofty promises about this blog, but I’d hate to break them.
It’s just that I have the best intentions for this new godlizard thing here, and in case anyone’s listening, I wanted you to know. About the intentions. The rest of it, meh.